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Hime-sama ♥
the pampered lil princess
Vilynn ♥
SWEETseventeen
o4feb1995 *hint* (:
Qihua Primary School ; Evergreen Secondary School ; Temasek Polytechnic
Super clumsy and careless queen.
Don't provoke me. I bite.
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wise thoughts
The Past ♥
precious memories
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Monday, April 23, 2012 ♥
Always liked to have this image that nothing could affect me.
Wanting to maintain this strong image.
So smile even if its hurting.
being who i am ♥
Thursday, April 19, 2012 ♥
First day of orientation!
I'm so tired after a long day. Beginning to lose my temper 'cause I'm too tired.
Should go sleep already. Nights!
being who i am ♥
Monday, April 16, 2012 ♥
'Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A world of optimism and hope. A "you can do it" when things are tough.'
-Richard M. DeVos
being who i am ♥
Tuesday, April 10, 2012 ♥
They say first love is the sweetest yet hardest to forget. I agree.
I guess the first time I met him was back in 2003.
We were both in Primary 2. I remember how Mummy brought my to my new tutor's place. I met Yen Sheng there, and they told me he is in the same school as me.
Our parents hit off well, always chatted when they saw each other. I still remember how his mother will cycle him to the tutor's place and back home.
There was where we get to know more about each other, chatting and playing around.
I remember there was once when there was money on the table. I thought it was his, so I hid it in his pencil case and zipped it. But it wasn't his. And he glared at me after it was found out. Haha.
We were in the same tution for 4 years when he stopped because Mrs Lim moved house. Jing Yi and I continued our tuition with her at my house for our final year in primary school.
My connection with Yen Sheng did not end. We were in the same class in 2007 with Jing Yi, the class 6/1.
And I remembered our sitting arrangement in class. According to alphabetical order, we were in the last row.
The last row next to window, from front to back:
Index number 31 - Thong Wei Lin
Index number 32 - Vilynn Loh Wei Ling
Index number 33 - Wee Zhao Ming Brandon
Index number 34 - Wong Jing Yi
Index number 35 - Wong Yen Sheng
Being in the same row, we always did group work together, and all 5 of us were always chatting in class, making noises especially when Jing Yi was my best friend, and Brandon was Yen Sheng's best friend.
The times in 2007 was awesome.
Yen Sheng and I kept calling each other names. He would call me obasan while I called him ojisan. Its auntie and uncle in Japanese.
I still remember there was once when we were having some IT lesson in the computer lab when there was a mini conflict between Brandon and I. He ended up chasing me around the lab, and obviously I ran.
We ran like no tomorrow, playing around, laughing, and when we ran past the last row. Jing Yi was rooting for me, and after I ran past Yen Sheng's seat, he pushed back and got Brandon stuck.
During class, I always walked to Jing Yi's seat to chat and do work with her. And we would always chat with Yen Sheng at the back.
It was nice and fun, until I realised that Jing Yi likes Yen Sheng as well through her blog.
I forgot the reason, but I had some war with Jing Yi and Priscilla. And I remembered the quote on her blog.
"Seeing how she talks to him, and how he looks at here, it was obvious that they like each other."
She was very sad, saying how difficult it is to see us together.
After our PSLE, we started to help up the P4 E-Trail. We had our own stations, and we were assigned accordingly.
I was one of the group leader, while Jing Yi and Yen Sheng belongs to the badminton booth.
I still remember once at the back of the hall, Yen Sheng walked towards me to chat with me, when I just said, 'Go find your Jing Yi lah!'
And he showed me this super blur face.
I remembered what I got him on his birthday, 20th September 2007. It was a keychain bought from a shop at 883 plaza. I went to Boots and Shoes and got a nice box to hold it to look nice.
I gave it to him when we were released for recess, at his seat. He opened it infront of me, looked happy and told me he would keep it.
During my P6 times, it was probably the only times I went home straight after school instead of playing in school.
Yen Sheng used to walk very fast back then, and I had trouble catching up to him. We would always walk to my house and he continue to walk back him.
There was a few times I wanted to spend more time with him. I started to walk to further places with him. Like 883 plaza, the street soccer court, the bus stop, and finally stalked to his house.
Its because he kept lying to me that his house is very far away!
During the year, we also went for Arts Competition. The team included me, Yen Sheng, Natasya, Eunice and Yeow Wee.
The experience was an awesome one. And I remembered him buying Filet-O-Fish after the competition and told me that it was his favourite. The burger looked extra delicious when he was eating it.
We had our second Arts Competition but Yen Sheng didn't join. Yi Da took his place and that time we got the first prize. I had always thought how wonderful it will be if he joined.
Our final year at Qihua Primary School ended very quickly.
During the holidays, Mrs Lim invited us to go to her new house and play. I got Jing Yi and Yen Sheng and we went to her condominium.
Mrs Lim picked us up from near my house, and she asked about our choices of secondary schools.
I almost cried when I found out that Jing Yi and Yen Sheng's first choice are the same. Bukit Panjang Gov. High.
Who asked me to flunk my PSLE. The most I aimed for was Riverside Secondary. Failure.
I guess I called Yen Sheng's house number almost everyday until we got our own phones. I just hoped that Yen Sheng's mother didn't get pissed for getting so much calls from me.
Who asked him not to have any MSN or Facebook? He only used his computer to watch Bleach you see. It was funny how he learned them to say 'bastard' in Japanese.
We started texting each other ever since after we started our secondary school life.
I actually still can't believe that I did this. I actually asked him if he wanted to be my boyfriend. On 4th February 2008, I had my first official boyfriend. I said it was my best birthday present.
Like a thick skin only.
I guess we only went for a 'date' once. He took bus to my school after his lessons to wait for me, as I had Table Tennis tornament.
I met him after I got back to my school, and we walked to 883 and got bubble tea. He sent me to my block afterwards.
I guess I was rather stupid for asking him why don't he just walk back home from the plaza when its nearer to his house.
He didn't tell me the answer, he just smiled. A smile that melted my heart.
During the 2008 CNY period, he went to Malaysia to visit his relatives. I remember I was at my grandmother house when he came back to Singapore.
"Hi obasan! Finally home sweet home. :-D" That's the smiley face he always used.
And I kept asking if he missed me. Hahaha and I think I was mad happy when he said he missed me.
But my sweet love story was short. It ended when I accidentally locked my SIM card. My SIM card was unable to use, and I had to change a new number. All my contacts were lost as well.
I asked myself a million times why didn't I call his house number to tell him I changed number and lost his number. I don't know why was I so stupid. I don't know..
The year passed, I didn't know how I managed to let it pass.
The year 2009, when I was in secondary school, I was close to Serene Koh. She would always help me in school works and she was my jie.
We were chatting on MSN when I happened to learn that her primary school friend, Hsiang Wee, was in Swiss Cottage Secondary.
So I tried luck, told her my story, and she helped me to ask him if he knows Yen Sheng.
It ended up that they were classmates! But I also learned of a horrible truth. Serene told me that he has his darling already, but she gave me his number anyway.
I managed to stalk their class blog, and stalked his classmate's blog. And I managed to find his girlfriend's blog. I read and read, and I cried buckets.
Even now I remember his girlfriend's name. Lynette Leong.
I saved his number in my phone, but never had the courage to contact him.
It was only in 2010 when I was in Secondary 3 when I gathered my courage to SMS him. We are organising a gathering for 6/1.
I SMSed him, asking if its Yen Sheng. In case he changed his number. And he replied, asking who am I. I couldn't describe how I felt.
I told him about the gathering, and I kind of hinted him that I wanted him to come. But sadly, he refused to go for it, saying that he has school work to do.
So he didn't go. I remembered during the outings, some of them jokingly asked me where was Yen Sheng. I just replied sadly that he was busy with his school work.
I think they didn't expect me to know! Hahaha.
For a few days, I kept in contact with him, SMSing each other occasionally. I remembered asking him if he have got a girlfriend already, but he said no. I was confused.
But after few days, we stopped contacting each other. I remembered how I find it hard to talk to my classmate whose name is called Lynette as well. Haha.
I guess I managed to put him aside for 1 year after knowing that he is fine.
We held another primary school outing in January 2012. It was when most of us graduated from our secondary schools.
I searched through my MSN history to find Yen Sheng's number. I composed the exact same text as 2 years ago and sent it.
I was dismayed when I received no reply. I guess he changed his number, or maybe he suspected its me and ignored it. But I believed in the former.
I remembered I had fever on the day of outing at the East Coast Park. Of cos the same happened, some of them asked me where is Yen Sheng.
I said I didn't know and smiled. But I was hurt deep inside.
I was sick and didn't have appetite. I ate corn and paid $28(if I remembered correctly) for my share.
I remembered I was sitting on one of the breakwaters with Sean and Johan, having some heart-to-heart talk. We were talking a lot about the good old times.
It was when I told them the story of Yen Sheng and I. I guess even they were shocked that we were together once. Haha.
Apparently none of our primary school classmates are still keeping in contact with him.
So I told them our story, how we were together, and how we lost contact. And I guess they felt sad as well listening to my story, because I was already fighting back the urge to cry.
I started working for Playcraft since last December. I went to a few fairs to work and I met Clarence and Irving.
We became quite close, SMSing each other. Eventually I found out they were from Swiss Cottage Secondary.
I tried my luck one day, asked Clarence if he knows a guy called Yen Sheng. But he said no. I expected it. I didn't have too much hope.
This year is also the year I saw Yen Sheng ever since 2008. I shocked even myself when I saw him on the bus. It was also the time when I picked up the courage to talk to him on the MRT.
I was upset when he didn't add me on Facebook like he promised. I guess I was desperate to keep in contact with him when I asked if he have got Facebook already.
I still can't believe I initiated so much.
I told my colleague the story as she offered to help find him out. I guess Guan Yi heard me cry over the phone because of it. And few days after that encounter, I kept saying that I saw him.
Guan Yi told me I was imaging things. But I was right when he walked into the shop on Valentine's Day.
I was on the phone with her, and suddenly I saw him walked past. I ran out, shouted his name, but I was ignored. Guan Yi kept telling me that I got the wrong person when I was holding back my tears. But I stoned when he walked in.
I was holding my phone, about to SMS Sean that I saw him and missed him when he walked in. I was nervous and excited. Acted friendly around him and asked why was he there alone.
He said he was waiting for friend and secretly smiled to himself. Suspicious, huh?
After talking for awhile, he said bye and went out. Deep inside me, I wanted to scream, 'WHY DIDN'T YOU ADD ME ON FACEBOOK?!' But I didn't mention a thing.
I was afraid that he didn't want to stay in contact with me. Because if I were him, I will surely ask for my number. But no, he showed no signs of wanting to stay in contact. So I held it in.
Of cos I looked for his Facebook. I saw this profile, of this couple. The guy certainly looked like him, but it was a little different. I could not confirm if it was him, but I felt lousy as well.
There were few times I saw him at LotOne as well. That was how I got the conclusion that his girlfriend lives in Choa Chu Kang.
I told myself it was none of my business whenever I saw him.
I went back to my secondary school this month to get my testimonial with a group of friends that I didn't know very well.
In the canteen, they met Joshua and chatted. They were in the same class before, obviously I would be left out.
What I did was staring at his uniform. It was the uniform of St Andrew's Junior College. Yen Sheng's school.
I wondered if Joshua knows him. I wondered if by chance they were in the same class. I couldn't ask. I sat and stared.
And I guess I managed well. Until yesterday when I did something stupid. I guess I am scary, for being able to stalk so much.
I thought to myself, I just wanted to find out if that Facebook profile is his. So I used Teckli's Facebook, wanting to add him to see. Once its confirmed, I will delete him away.
As I typed in his name, I saw '2 mutual friends'.
Obviously I would be curious. I went to click, both were not people that I know of. Their names were not familiar to me.
But there was this particular mutual friend that attracted my attention. She have the same profile picture as the suspected Yen Sheng's Facebook profile.
So I clicked in and browsed through her pictures and killed myself.
It is his current girlfriend. I guess Yen Sheng really likes the name Lynette a lot. Because her name is also Lynette, just with a different surname.
I also found out that Clarence knows her.
And looking at those pictures, they definitely look good together. One sweet couple.
So this is my story, the story I spent hours typing. This may be sweet, sad or ridiculous, but this is what happened and what I remember about him.
Some may say I am stupid, not being able to let go. But I can't forget about this, it isn't easy.
And most of all, I am proud to be the main character of this story. Though it may be hurting, I still want to remember this story.
All I could blame was accidentally locking my SIM. I didn't put myself in his shoes. I guess he was worried when his girlfriend went missing. I guess I made him suffer as well.
Today will probably the last time I am talking about this story.
Labels: wys
being who i am ♥
Monday, April 9, 2012 ♥
Think too much maybe?
But sometimes I believe too much in what I think.
Today I was talking to Zhi Hui and Dao Jun about school's orientation. And they tried to give me some tips.
I was actually pretty reluctant to go for the orientation because it seems to have some stupid sports game.
Zhi Hui asked me to aim people make friends, because they will be my future project mates.
I was saying how I want to be anti-social when Dao Jun asked me to anyhow pick one girl which I think is nice and follow her wherever she go.
Stalker much?
Haha, I really don't think I will manage to do so.
being who i am ♥
♥
I guess every choices I make, I will be letting people down.
Yup, I am still unable to let go, I guess. It still hurts whenever I think of it. I will just be filled with regrets.
But sometimes I guess its good to stay as strangers for now. But I only hope that we will still meet in the future.
But will the me now be able to love?
Is it really love?
I really don't know.
being who i am ♥
Wednesday, April 4, 2012 ♥
I think life sucks and I'm tired of it.
Everyday's encounters never fail to devastate me.
I can never be like you guys. No matter how I wish, I hope, I pray. I get nothing. Nothing like you guys.
Maybe its just about me.
Do you know how I feel? I no longer know how I feel.
I guess I can only watch happiness from far.
But anyway, in your face Vilynn. This is the truth you'll have to accept.
Even when I have to disappear from you guys, please don't forget me.
being who i am ♥